The Washington Post

So in light of Walk of Shames, I share my most memorable and what could probably be the most infamous I will ever have.

It all began for a colleagues birthday party, all of us came out glammed out. Me in a strapless mini dress. It was January. Not quite practical, but all I cared about was looking cute not what the temperature outside was. Of course this happened to be held at a popular bar with us having an open bar tab. Right away you know that equals bad news bears. Vodka. Vodka. Vodka!! And without the fist pumping... Shots! Shots! Shots!

It was a grand time had by all and then I spotted him. Of course, I thought he was gorgeous and my friend being so kind and dear went over to him and Lord only knows what she said, but let's skip to making out at the bar. (Sidenote: I hate when people make out at the bar. I find it trashy. Yet every now and again, we all fall victim to it) So here I have friends hanging out with me at the bar and I decide to leave with Mr. Washington Post (so-called because of his shirt)

I received a lovely voicemail as I galavanted off with Mr. WP from my abandoned friend, which I still have on my phone and listen to every now and again for shits and giggles. "I hate you so much. I hate you. I'm jealous but I hate you"

The jist of the night was pretty much over when I called him by the wrong name. Please, if you are going home with someone have a friend verify the name. So let's fast forward to the morning when I had to be at work at 10am. Of course I wasn't cute. Bed head and no make up with me to refresh. He was nice enough to drive me in. And while I did get his number I failed to get in touch with him due to ultimate humilation of forgetting his name. How do you apologize for that? Hmm, on second thought I think I did text him apologizing for that minor factor.

So while work sucked that day, a friend of mine had had a bad day and wanted to meet up for drinks. And since I wasn't going to run home and change since she was having drinks in the same building that I worked, I changed back into last night's dress. Nothing is sadder looking than last nights dress 18 hours later.

So lessons learned. Remember the name of the boy you make out with at the bar. And go home and change before you put any more liquor in your system.

FMe Pumps

So I realize FMe Pumps serve a very practical purpose. They are the number one fashion accessory when getting dresssed for the evening. They make you sexy. And while I pride myself on FMe Pumps, they are the first thing to come off in the bedroom. So their mission is accomplished. Yet even after the night is over and the shoes are off the legend of the FMe pumps live on.

Next day, not so pretty. Sore feet. Blisters. Broken toe nails. I'm sorry how is this sexy?

So it really is a double entendre. 1) Please FMe tonight. 2)FMe for having to wear those shoes last night.

The Walk of Shame

I'm just lounging around my apartment waiting to get the call from that Mr. Someone to come out for the night. I'm in no way ready. I just put laundry in the wash and I have not done my make up or my hair. No point in getting too early and just sitting around waiting. So what way to be proactive than to start a blog chronicling my Adventures in Love Lust & Liquor.

Let's take a little tangent into early today when I was texting my girlfriend as to what I should wear tonight. And I believe this is where most girls go wrong. They get all glammed up for the night ahead of them they don't stop to think about what tomorrow might bring. Yes, you look fabulous now, but what about tomorrow morning when you're updo is falling out, your mascara is rubbed off and your skin is blotchy? Thus begins your walk of shame in 5 inch heels and a mini skirt that 9 am has never seen. You better hope there is a cab waiting right outside his door for you to hop in. And please tell me you at least considered bringing your sunglasses.

Don't try and place yourself on a pedistool and say that never happened. It's happened to everyone. The problem is you must take control of the situation before it takes control of you.

Let's take this evening for example. I am meeting up with Mr. Someone. He will most likely be out or will have been out with colleagues. As I was shopping today I thought of buying black capris. Nice. Simple. It would be easy to wear them back out tomorrow without looking too conspicuous of my walk of shame. (Might I add this is not a "walk of shame" I will now call it a "walk of pride" because Mr. Someone is not Mr. Anyone) But capris were too bland. It's 70 degrees out. So after much deliberation I just ended up buying black leather pumps, screams SEX!

So then I was faced with my closet as to find something to wear and it's been narrowed down to 2 options. Jeans and a tank top with newly purchased FMe Pumps or Short skirt with simple v-neck and FMe Pumps.
Now you might be reading this thinking I will go for the jeans and tank from what I have said earlier about mini skirts in early morning hours, but think of it this way. If I meet up with him at a bar before going back to his place, I want to give him a sneak peek of the coming attractions. What coming attractions do you see in jeans? Like I said, it's 70 degrees out. I'm going with the mini skirt. My Audrey Hepburn sunglasses are already in my purse with my compact and a toothbrush. :)

Please girls, it's only a walk of shame if you look shameful.